So, I read the "Twilight" book a few years ago (before it became massively popular), and I absolutely HATED it.
The grammar was awful, the characters were awful, Bella was a whiny brat, the plot was non-existant, and it was pretty damn obvious that Stephanie Meyer had written her own, personal wet dream. Except it wasn't personal. It was public, and she was getting hailed as the "next J.K. Rowling".
GAH.
She then proceeded to write three craptastic sequels. And then: BAM! KAPOW! She was famous. Just like that.
I fear for humanity.
I don't understand why people love this book. I find Bella impossible to relate to, and Edward's a creepy, weakling stalker. Also, Jacob and Quill IMPRINTED ON BABIES.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
This is Twilight in a nutshell (from Bella's POV):
"OMG, liek, Edward is soooooooo HAWT!!!111!!!!! He, liek, oozes SEXIOSITY!!!!11!!! LOOOOL!!!11!"
And here's the sequel, New Moon, in a condensed version:
"Bella: I LOVE YOU EDWARD
Edward: I LOVE YOU TOO
Bella: I LOVE YOU EDWARD
Edward: I LOVE YOU TOO
Bella: I LOVE YOU EDWARD
Edward: Fuck this, I'm leaving.
Bella: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!!! *tries to commit suicide*
Jacob: Hey.
Bella: OMG a MAN I MUST HAVE HIM.
Jacob and Bella: *in love*
Edward: I'm back.
Bella: I LOVE YOU EDWARD"
The next person to compare Stephanie Meyer to J.K. Rowling will be bitch-slapped so hard their genitals will fall off.
>.<
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Of course I live in my head...I'm a writer.--
"I'd rather take something soft and sweet and completely mutilate it."
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"Trip man, trip! That's like finding out your girl's your sister! Trip."- Louie DeNonno
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And when you get shot, and can't carry on,
Though you die...
LA RESISTANCE LIVES ON!
**zebram is the very fibre of epic**
You're online!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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~..The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that youve got it made..~
'They were probably trying to name him Cedric. But they couldn't pwonounce it wight.
It's a boy dawwing. We'w caw him Sedgewick!
-I love Rocky. And Zib
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"I'd rather take something soft and sweet and completely mutilate it."
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why yes, i do frequently burst out into spontaneous giggles whenever somebody mentions draco malfoy. and yes, i do turn into an angry squid of rage whenever somebody mentions twilight.
and no, i didn't forget to be awesome ;D
HOO-HA!
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---- Dick Nubbler from Metalocalypse
Are you a Rammstein fan? Then Join --> [link]
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I-R-I-S-H
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"'They didn't understand what they were doing.' I'm afraid that will be on the tombstone of the human race. I hope it's not. We might get lucky." - Prey
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